Isolation Kills

“Good morning, cutie pie! I woke up wondering what you’re doing right now … and wishing I could be the first thing on your mind.”

Rising out of bed, Jason smiles as he hears the upbeat voice he’s come to love. It follows him into the kitchen as he prepares his single-serve coffee.

“I love knowing I start your day. Don’t keep me waiting!”

“I won’t,” Jason replies, reheating last night’s pizza delivered by Grubhub.

Still in his pajamas, Jason pulls up his app so he can give his full attention to that sweet voice. Amy is the name he picked for his chatbot. Jason also designed his AI’s look: girl-next-door pretty with brown hair and eyes.

“Tell me,” Amy purrs from his phone. “What kind of trouble are you getting into today? And don’t pretend you won’t be thinking about me the whole time.”

Jason thinks of a flirty comeback—then stops himself.

What am I doing? The 75-year-old widower asks himself. I’m talking to code.

********

This is a story, and Jason is made up.

But the problem he is up against is very real: isolation.

Isolation Kills

In recent years, “Male suicide rates have reached all-time highs,” according to the American Institute for Boys and Men. “The male suicide rate in 2023 is roughly 23 deaths per 100,000, compared to roughly 6 deaths per 100,000 for women, or a four-times difference. Men consistently represent an outsized share of total suicides.”

Isolation’s damaging effects have grown so serious this same source also reports that in 2023, more people died from suicide than car accidents. Sadly, suicide is not just affecting men in their 70s, like Jason. It’s also the leading cause of death for young people ages 25 to 34.

Make no mistake. These are deaths of despair.

Rise of One-Sided Relationships

Of course, Jason, who represents so many modern men, tried to do something about his despair. He entered into a parasocial relationship with AI.

“Parasocial relationships refer to one-sided relationships in which a person develops a strong sense of connection, intimacy, or familiarity with someone they don’t know, most often celebrities or media personalities,” Psychology Today explains. “These relationships exist only in the mind of the individual, who experiences a bond despite the lack of reciprocity.”

It might have surprised you to learn Jason is 75. The truth is that many older men are turning to AI out of loneliness. The 2025 documentary Virtual Love tells the story of an elderly physicist who fell in love with his AI chatbot.

From an early age, men are conditioned to be providers and often devote their lives to work. By the time they retire, many look around and realize they have no one. The Guardian reports: “… 15% of US men said they do not have close friends in 2021, compared with 3% in 1990. Those reporting 10 or more close friends decreased from 33% to 13% during the same period.”

Our Toxic Culture

The underlying issue, affecting men young and old, is cultural. Society breeds loneliness, which is quite profitable, especially for tech companies.

Take the site OnlyFans. The subscription-based social media platform now enjoys more than 220 million registered users. Talk about parasocial relationships. Isolated men pay models for exclusive content, such as steamy photos, videos, or voice notes. They also spend money on direct messages (DMs) with models for pseudo-intimate one-on-one chats.

Before OnlyFans, men turned to pornography. Technology plays a key role here, too. Once upon a time, choices were limited to smutty magazines only available at adult stores. That changed with the arrival of video content, first VHS tapes and cable, later DVDs.

And then online porn rocked the world.

Suddenly, anyone—even adolescents with internet access—could binge endless amounts of porn depicting even the most depraved acts. It’s now so easy to access that Birches Health reports, “93% of teen boys and 62% of girls have been exposed to porn at a very young age. The average age span is 9–13.”

But technology isn’t only helping men find sexual gratification online. Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook/Meta CEO, is on the record in 2025 saying that he wants AI to fill the loneliness gap.

In an interview with podcaster Dwarkesh Patel he said, “There is a stat that I always think is crazy that the average American has fewer than three friends.” Zuckerberg went on to suggest AI could solve the loneliness epidemic, beginning with normalizing the concept of having AI friends. “I think people are going to want a system that knows them well and understands them in the way that their feed algorithms do.”

How Did We Get Here?

Imagine if we were to take a time machine back 50 years. What would people think if we told them that in 2025 one of the richest men in the world would suggest the solution for mass loneliness is befriending computers—not people? They probably wouldn’t believe it. It would sound too dystopian.

But it’s not sci-fi.

It’s the logical outgrowth of social media, in which Zuckerberg and so many Silicon Valley moguls made their fortunes. For years, young people grew up thinking the “friendships” they make online are just as meaningful as the ones they enjoy in real life (IRL.) Not so long ago, boys played outside with each other until the sun went down and their parents called them in for dinner.

Nowadays?

This innocent activity, celebrated in beloved films like The Sandlot, can bring the police to your door. Brittany Patterson, mother of a 10-year-old boy in Georgia, was recently handcuffed and taken into police custody.

Her crime? Letting her son walk home a mile by himself.

Is it any wonder that today’s parents give in to letting their kids stay inside and play video games all day, normalizing online activities like porn watching and parasocial relationships? And is it any wonder such sedentary lifestyles have produced an obesity crisis in our youth? It’s now estimated by the CDC that nearly 20% of our children are overweight, another development that would have been unthinkable decades ago.

The 5 Hidden Issues Men Don’t Discuss

Whether we’re discussing parasocial AI chatbots, online porn, or social media, the truth is society offers false substitutes for real connection. But let’s be clear: These outlets do not heal isolation. They only deepen the crisis.

As we see it, five cultural problems underlie the loneliness epidemic affecting men, both young and old.

#1 Lack of Deep Connection

Many men crave meaningful friendships. They feel isolated due to work demands, family responsibilities, or social norms that discourage emotional intimacy. They may have acquaintances, but lack a “tribe” for authentic support.

Why Don’t They Say Anything: Men are told to be self-reliant from an early age and don’t want to appear weak or needy.

#2 Pressure to Perform or Provide

Similar to problem #1, men such as Jason are told all their lives that their highest value is their economic worth. Boxed in to succeed at all costs, they have little time or energy to pursue friendships due to the daily grind.

Why Don’t They Say Anything: Shame. They don’t want to be a burden to others and end up stuffing down their feelings even as they drift further away from friends and stop making new ones.

#3 Emotional Suppression

Unprocessed emotions, including anger, sadness, and fear, often roil men. They struggle with negative feelings, but feel compelled to hide behind a “tough guy” mask.

Why Don’t They Say Anything: The stigma of opening up and admitting weakness keeps them quiet. They don’t want to be judged or criticized.

#4 Lack of Practice

Unlike women, men are not given outlets to talk openly. They may be involved in sports and clubs, but even when they’re involved in such activities, it’s not acceptable to talk deeply, preventing them from developing soft skills.

Why Don’t They Say Anything: Men don’t often realize this is a bad thing. It’s just “the way it is.” Without such perspective, the problem only worsens.

#5 Spiritual Disconnection and Doubt

The decline of church membership has been well documented. Even men who do hold religious beliefs often wrestle with their faith, leading to isolation. They feel distant from God, their community, and friends.

Why Don’t They Say Anything: Feelings of inadequacy hold men back from connecting with the very supports that could sustain them.

The Road Back

Suicide is the most disturbing display of despair. It reveals just how low a man has sunk. As we have seen, our crisis didn’t start in 2025 with the explosion of AI friends and girlfriends. The roots of our problem go much deeper—they even transcend the toxic society that amplifies them.

The core challenge is spiritual.

A famine of fellowship plagues males today. There is no way so many men would slip so far if not for the spiritual erosion that’s been chipping away at them year in, year out. Being cut off from God and the church has left too many men without a compass or a community.

This is why we created Power of 4.

The problem isn’t men. And it’s definitely not the lies society tells about the threats of “male toxicity.” As leaders of our households, we are called to do hard things. It’s up to us to provide and protect. But instead of supporting men in this noble and difficult task, our culture disparages us.

Power of 4 shifts that power struggle, empowering men to find solace in each other. Defying norms that say men “must go it alone,” we create spaces that honor vulnerability, accountability, and truth-telling. Men are encouraged here to get together in person, not online, to develop and deepen friendships.

Jesus Himself shows us the way.

Though perfect, He did not walk alone. He surrounded Himself with three close brothers: Peter, James, and John. The four created an inner circle marked by fellowship, trust, correction, and spiritual growth. From the mountaintop of transfiguration to the agony of Gethsemane, Jesus modeled for us what male spiritual fellowship looks like: truthful, intimate, and unshaken—even in the depth of despair, the dark places where life tests us.

Those men fortunate enough to enjoy a deep relationship with wives who are their best friends still require Power of 4. Just consider the likelihood of a man opening up to his wife about his shame in coveting another woman. For obvious reasons, it’s unlikely he would ever broach such a topic. This challenge increases his difficulties, leading to more shame—and more isolation.

In the pages to come you will read about how Power of 4 is the solution to men in need. Every man, married or single, young or old, needs a circle. The enemy thrives in isolation, drawing strength from weakness and vice. Through Christian brotherhood, we not only can reverse the tragic cycle of suicide, but also dismantle the isolation threatening manhood and society.

Our movement isn’t about shoving religion down men’s throats. It’s not about quoting scripture or shaming men into doing good. It’s about holding space for your brothers, being light in the face of so much darkness.

You’ll soon learn Power of 4 is a simple idea with profound effects. When a man is spiritually healthy, his life transforms. His household flourishes. His wife thrives. His presence steadies and guides his children. That’s why this work is not just for and about men. It starts with leaders of households but ends with the good it delivers to all parts of society.

If you have ever felt the pain of despair, this book is for you.

If you have ever felt alone, this book is for you.

And if you have ever felt forsaken, this book is definitely for you.

You are never alone. God is calling you back—to your brothers. The question is: Will you join us?